Rebel Yell

Well, our lost kitty showed up this morning safe and sound. He was pretty dirty, so I’m guessing he was in someone’s garage hiding and got locked in. In the meantime, I’ve received no less than three e-mail solicitations for money from people who are willing to find my lost pet!

Someone named “Josh Thomas” sent me this little gem from josh_money.pets@yahoo.com:

Hi, my name is josh ..i am from Italy but i live in Untied State of America …i never ment to do what i have done ..but i just don’t have choice …so i am willing to tell you that your cat is with me..i stole it..and the reason why i did that is because ..my mum is dieing of cancer in Italy and with need some money for her treatment but no one seems to help me out so i decided to steal ..dogs and cats and gets some money from people to save my mum..so if you know want your cat back you will have to pay sum of $500 and i will also like you to email me back to this mail box below: gymestore2009@gmail.com so that i can reply and tell you were to get your dog back…

Hope to read from you….

Really? Wow. That’s at least up-front and honest blackmail. But then I get these e-mails:

Regarding your Petfinder’s ad

Dear Pet Guardian this is a bona fide offer.
The Pet Rescue is sad to hear of your lost pet and we would like to offer our professional organization to help you find your loved one.
Please check out our site: www.thepetrescue.com we want to help with the opportunity to place an ad on our site for free for 10 days with one picture (175×175 pixels maximum). Please visit the site for more information on this opportunity and its limitations (http://www,thepetrescue.com/gorescue.html).

If you need reliable fast help, The Pet Rescue Team is available with the Premium Service(http://www.thepetrescue.com/gorescue.html). The Premium Service is a paid service ( $ 20.00) that includes the broadcast of the lost pet information and flyer to veterinarians, shelters etc., plus other services including user’s e-mail protection to avoid spam and con artists.

If your pet is registered with The Pet Rescue International Registry, Premium Ad is a free service.

The Pet Rescue LLC covers the entire United States and Canada and offers complete listing directories for Veterinarians, Shelters, Pet Sitters, and many other services.

Thank You
The Pet Rescue Team
thepetrescue@thepetrescue.com

From: PET DETECTIVE
To: washington8@msn.com
Sent: Saturday, May 10, 2008 9:04 AM
Subject: LOST DOG / LOST CAT.

Missing Pet home in 24 to 48 hours after contacting Carl Washington.
TOP LOST PET TRACKER & ON-LINE PROFILER IN THE U.S., AS SEEN ON CNN & FOX TV, AND THE WASHINGTON POST and HEARD ON NPR Radio. Top trio of tracking dogs , just click his website for references.
http://www.petdetectiveusa.com, Emails: petdetective04@yahoo.com OR
carlwashington@bellsouth.net ; COAST-TO-COAST TRAVEL.

I AM AVAILABLE FOR CALLS ,ALL HOURS OF THE DAY! YOU CAN REACH ME AT 706-339-2418 OR EMAIL ME IF YOU BELIEVE YOUR FAMILY MEMBER IS, LOST, TRAPPED, TAKEN IN, PICKED UP, STOLEN, OR INJURED.

There’s no telling how many of these people are out there ready and willing to take advantage of a grief-stricken pet owner. Lost your pet? No worries! Just send me money and I’ll find it for you! Oh, you already found your pet? Sorry, no refunds! Bwahaha! It’s actually kind of makes me sick to think about it. It’s like these “psychics” who claim to be able to find missing children, and then never do, while these grief-stricken families are pouring their money and wasting their time in a desperate attempt to find their child.

Be aware, fellow pet owners! These people are out there, and legitimate or not, they’re willing to make money off of your loss! They’re the Nigerian Prince e-mails of the pet world.

Mango, one of my cats, went missing this weekend. I’ve posted a Lost Pet ad on petfinder in the hopes that someone finds him and brings him home. I also posted signs in my neighborhood and asked my neighbors to look out for him.

If you live in the League City/South Shore Harbour area, keep an eye out for the little guy. He’s a cuddler, not a killer (like Tetsuo, who is practically a master at catching and eating all manner of wildlife), so I doubt he’d be able to fend for himself outside. This is probably the first time in my life that I’ve ever lost an animal, and it’s one of the worst feelings. Fortunately, I haven’t spotted any dead cats on the road lately, so I’m still hopeful that he’ll make his way back home.

If you don’t know what “bento” is, it’s basically the art of the boxed lunch, which originated in Japan (of course–everything is art over there!). Some rather creative folks have taken the art of bento to a new level. Behold! The Album Art Bento!

It is indeed “Full of Win,” as they say.

State Farm will be repairing my car, and with reconditioned USED FUCKING AUTO PARTS to boot. My mom keeps calling them “Snake Farm,” and it took me a while to realize why. This is why. Major repairs on my vehicle and they’re using USED auto parts. “They’re reconditioned to save YOU money!!”

Total Cost to repair my vehicle: $5000*
Trade-in value as of Feb 2008: $7500

Tell me, is it REALLY worth it for them to repair my vehicle, even with the used auto parts? Really, State Farm? Thanks, though. It’s good to know that you’re keen on having me die in a fiery car crash thanks to sub-standard vehicle repairs. That’s all my premium cash, hard at work! YOU RULE!! D: In addition, this means that the trade-in value of my car, post-major accident #2, is probably closer to $0. This means that if I no longer with to drive Ye Olde Death Trap, I’m up poo creek without a paddle in terms of funding. Whoo. Who wants to be in grad school AND pay off a car loan? LAME!

On the plus side, at least I’m not a bloody smear on the highway right now.

*$5000 according to the insurance claims adjuster who assessed my vehicle. Last time I was in an accident (two years ago), they estimated repairs at $2000. As soon as the collision center started working on my car, they found an additional $3000 worth of necessary repairs. I’m betting that there’s at least $8,000 (give or take a few hundred) worth of damage on my car, knowing the half-assed job State Farm did on the last damage assessment.

BARACKULA: THE MUSICAL!

Barackula is a short political horror rock musical about young Barack Obama having to stave off a secret society of vampires at Harvard when he was inducted into presidency at the Harvard Law Review in 1990. Obama (Justin Sherman) finds that he must convince the vampire society that opposing political philosophies can coexist or else the society may transform Obama to the dark side. Reminiscent to Michael Jackson’s Thriller and a slight infusion of Jesus Christ Superstar, the film solely depicts Obama’s strengths, merits and genuineness while being quietly respectful towards the other presidential candidates.

Dancing Harvard vampires? political satire? DANCING VAMPIRES?! This is surely musical theater genius.

Can’t figure out which end of the mascara wand goes where? Don’t know the difference between eye shadow and brow shadow? Still using the same eye shadow you wore to junior prom in 1986? Wouldn’t know your way around a beauty store if someone handed you a map and a personal guide? Then The Beauty Bunny is here for you!

I just found out that my friend Cailin runs this blog, and it’s actually really swank. If you’re as hopelessly inept with the eyeliner as I am, and wouldn’t know where to begin at a store like Ulta, but don’t want the snobbery of the MAC counter, then you’ll find some great information on The Beauty Bunny. Cailin has tips, tricks, reviews, and everything you need to avoid looking like you just stepped out of The Breakfast Club. I’d highly recommend it. (Not that my recommendation means anything, especially considering most of my readership is GUYS, but you never know.)

I’m not really joking about the near-death experience thing. Last Wednesday’s accident (which I didn’t elaborate upon here) was truly horrifying for me.

Imagine this: you’re driving in the rain, and you come to a stop at an intersection. Your tires slip and you skid a few feet but come to a stop. Scary, right? But not too terrible that you give it much thought afterwards. Now, imagine that, only on the freeway, towards the end of rush-hour traffic (around 7:00PM), in clear daylight, and at a speed of approximately 65-70MPH. That’s what happened to me.

There’s ALWAYS a slow-down at 610–it’s a given. I-45 has so many slow spots that you could probably reduce the speed to 35MPH and no one would notice. So imagine my surprise when, as I was slowing down near the Woodridge exit (41-A), my car suddenly veered to one side and I completely lost control of my car.

Have you ever walked into a room and forgotten what you were doing and why you were there? That’s the experience I was having as my car was veering wildly. I never went into a spin, and luckily I didn’t roll the car. (Thanks to the design team at Honda, the CR-V has a wider, shorter profile than other SUVs. It’s saved me from rolling more than once. Unfortunately, the brakes have been a recurring problem for me.) But the entire time, it was the feeling of being in the kind of dream where you find yourself doing something you’ve never done before. Suddenly, you’re expected to fly an airplane, or stop a nuclear explosion, or disarm a bomb, or catch Osama bin Laden.

So I lose control of the car, and I begin to veer wildly across four lanes of traffic. In a stroke of pure luck, I managed to not hit anyone else until I got to the exit ramp, where another car struck my vehicle. Keep in mind, this is at freeway speed. I have no idea how fast I was going when my brakes failed (or locked–either situation is frightening to me, because I’ve got anti-lock brakes on the vehicle), but I do know that the other driver had to have been going between 50 and 65MPH. That collision is the only thing that prevented me from going down the exit ramp and continuing on until I either coasted to a stop or hit a vehicle (or a pedestrian, or a building, or anything else that was in my way–like a lamp post).

Both of us managed to escape injury (aside from a few bruises and bumps, and a sore shoulder and neck where I jammed up against the driver’s side of my vehicle), and the damage to the other driver’s car seems to be fixable. My car, on the other hand, is still in limbo. Based on the angle that the rear wheel is now attached to my car, the twisted metal on the door, the way in which neither passenger side doors close, and the way the metal crushed inwards on that one side, the insurance company may decide to just junk my car. I’m not entirely positive that it’s fixable damage, but I’m not positive that it’s totaled either. It could just be that it will cost more to fix my car than what it’s worth. (The trade-in value, as of about February this year, is around $7500 - 8000.)

All I know is that my car is either trying to kill me, or it saved my life. I haven’t decided. And apparently, my insurance company hasn’t decided either. I’ll find out the verdict on my car tomorrow or Wednesday. Until then, I’m driving a pretty swank Toyota Corolla (which, should my insurance company decide to total my car, I’ve decided to buy–not the rental car itself, but the same model) and trying to study for finals. I managed to crank through seven chapters of my management textbook in a little under five hours. My secret? I’m a terrible over-achiever. I’m also easily distracted (hence why I just spent an hour farting around on the internet). Also, being nearly killed in an accident has pretty much killed my capacity to freak out over small things like exams. You’d be surprised how brake failure on the freeway can put your life into perspective.

This is what my car looks like right now. I lost control of my car on the freeway today (thanks probably to either faulty or nonexistent ABS on my vehicle, and the sleep deprivation that comes with being a full time student and working full time) and swerved over four lanes of traffic, only to be hit by a car attempting to exit the freeway. For everyone who was driving down I-45 Southbound at Griggs, I’m sorry.

I’m still rather shaken and upset, but luckily there were no injuries and it was just myself and one other car involved. I’m now seriously considering moving in-town, buying a smaller vehicle (one that’s less likely to lose control while braking), and not driving on the freeway ever. :/

Thank Jeebus for insurance!

I came upon this article by Rebecca Stolnit through a friend’s journal. In the article, Stolnit recounts several instances of Men Explaining Things to her as though she’s somewhat ignorant and needs to be “informed” of “how things work.” It’s the story of my life, really, and many other women’s lives (though if you’re a smart kid being taught by a teacher who isn’t prepared to deal with an “advanced student,” it’s the story of any kid’s life). It doesn’t matter what kind of expert you are on a subject, if you’re a woman, there are men out there who are absolutely certain that they know better than you.

I still experience this myself, and I’m sure I could, upon reflection, dig up a few anecdotes of Men Explaining Things. Unfortunately, that takes too long, and I’ve got other things to do (like finish classwork for Accounting, level up my characters on Final Fantasy XII, and finish the Mario Acevedo book I started this past weekend). But I do have an anecdote from Monday about Men Being Frustrated By Me in my (introductory) Business Statistics class. (I won’t go into my own frustrations with the class itself. That’s another post altogether.)

On Monday, I get to class and the class is preparing for another “short” quiz on a topic that I spent five minutes mastering and promptly shoved into the recesses of my mind under the general category, “Non-Accounting Skills That I Won’t Use…Ever.” As we’re settling in, one of the students asks the professor, “How long is this quiz going to take? I probably need more than fifteen minutes.” The professor answers that he’s allotted thirty minutes (it actually took most of the class well over forty-five minutes to finish), so the guy turns to me and says, “Oh, and miss? Could you at least wait until I’ve put my name down on the quiz before you turn it in? The rest of us want a chance to finish without you showing us up.” This was met with a rousing chorus of laughter and “Yeah, we look like a bunch of under-achievers!” from the rest of the class. The professor tried to break it up by saying, “Well, and if you finish before I do I’ll never forgive you!” Hardy har har.

I laughed it off and told them I’d “write slow,” but seriously? This is the kind of teasing I got in school from other students who felt the need to make me feel bad about being smart. It’s not my fault this guy couldn’t master the topic, and that he was a slow writer. Nor is it my job to soothe his bruised ego by feigning ignorance so I can give him a chance to show off. (And since when is taking an exam some sort of contest to see who can finish first?) I always finish exams quickly. If I spend too much time agonizing over an exam, I tend to second-guess myself and change answers, which were usually right in the first place, and that just screws up my score.

I’ve had a reputation for blowing the curve, or at least being a smart-ass, since I was a kid. And every year in school, some guy has complained that it’s “not fair” that I finished first, made a higher grade, did better, knew more, etc. than he did because “girls aren’t supposed to be smarter than boys!” (or some other crybaby bullshit excuse). And every year, some sympathetic teacher would tell me, “Miriam, it’s really not fair to the other students if you’re ahead. You need to stay with the class.” No, girls and boys were supposed to be just as smart as each other–no student was more intelligent than another! We were ALL equally smart! And if you were smarter? Don’t worry–public schools are there to crush you into self-doubt so that you’ll never make a public display of intelligence again.

Now that I’m in graduate school, I’m fairly shocked that I’m getting the same reaction. But, after reading Stolnit’s article, and looking back on my life experiences, I don’t know why I should be shocked. I guess I just expected that people would magically change their minds and stop deciding that Men Are Better At Everything and Men Know Everything. Why should it bruise your ego that a girl knows more than you do? Only if you think that women shouldn’t know more than men, and/or that men are naturally superior in some (or all) ways to women.

Apparently, it still happens that way. And that makes me very sad.

How to actually talk to atheists (if you’re a Christian)

This is probably the best article I’ve read on this subject. It won a special little place in my heart today (the one that’s normally taken up by Carl Sagan and my special feelings for ? and ?).

(I really am hoping for more free time in the near future. Hopefully sooner than next year….)